This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
