hell yes lets make some ravioli
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
