I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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