dude i'm inner monologue high
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
