Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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