I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
