we have officially lost it.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
