Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
