no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize