We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
