I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
