New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
