i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
