Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
