What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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