Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
