Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
