Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Randomize
