they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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