Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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