how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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