is your mom at the bar?
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
