69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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