Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
