K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
