Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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