His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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