Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just cut my nipple shaving
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
