didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
