wanna go halves on a baby?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize