I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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