you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
