I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
