Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
