i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i just sent this text using only my big toe
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Watching her eat just hurts me
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
NoShamevember. You game?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I'm sobbing to NWA
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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