it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
