And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
