Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
