Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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