1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize