What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
