Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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