Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
