I cannot find my penis.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
