would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
