Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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