My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
