i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
