You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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