i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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