Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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