a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
