I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
