All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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