I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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