That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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