I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Randomize
