Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
